Get me some thorazine before it's too late

No one ever asks "How is the Jewish Space Laser?"

When their lips parted, Donald dug his hand through his bathrobe pocket and pulled out what looked like Donald Trump smarties. "I've got a wonderful dealer, straight from the detention camps at the border. His name's Gonzales and I told him 'give me some Trump ecstasy and you and your family will get immediate citizenship.'"

"No..."

"Don't worry babe, I lied. He and his little Mexican children are still in their cages."

Mike smiled. "Good."

Another burst of energy ravaged the world yet again, but it was more powerful because the source was the worst thing anyone could ever think of. The cracks in every wall within a 30 mile radius bled hot, poisoned blood. Every Florida meth head (so everyone) sleeping against the wall after a week of being awake instantly got lead poisoning and AIDS. The author collapsed over her keyboard in pain as her stomach twitched violently. She cried out like an animal, begging the gods above to kill her, but no god could be merciful to a sinner.

Suddenly, the ground crumbled below her feet revealing the bowels of Hell. There was a pastor surrounded by a group of morons marching in a circle around him, screaming and spitting incoherent words. Each of them carried signs with various degrees of homophobic bullshit scrawled across them. They all looked to her and flashed a jaundice smile. The main jackass looked a little like the old dude from Jurassic Park, only not rich and very secretly racist.

"Hello, child, do you care to join our sinless cult?!"

She suddenly revived herself as an eternity with these cunts would be worse than writing about Trump's Mario Kart mushroom penis this one time.

Trump rolled over, and flattened the nightstand which was then absorbed into his being. He belched sexily at Mike. Despite their half a round of sex, Mike seemed interested in more, but Trump's diet of taco bell chilupas and Oreos rendered him useless. Just like his presidency, he couldn't satisfy.

Then a knock at the door caused Mike's dick to shrivel up inside of his body. He knew that sound. The flab of her noodle arm gave it away. Trump peered towards the golden bedroom door. He put his mushroom back into his pants though she probably wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't.

"Come in," he tried his best to sound unsexy but to Pence, he was irresistible.

Trump shoved his VP out of bed. Pence scrambled to get his clothes on. A blonde-haired gremlin from the deepest darkest depths of Georgia stepped into the room. She had a needle of thorazine from her last visit to the looney bin still sticking out of her bum. In addition to this, her feet were afixed with only the most high-end grippy socks. This woman had been released from the psych ward only moments before to assume her role in Congress. It was Marjorie Taylor Thorazine.

To be continued...